Matthew Espinosa by Matthew Espinosa

Author:Matthew Espinosa
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2016-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

On My Own

When I was seventeen and I was in LA, I spent a lot of time going out at night with friends. LA kinda comes alive at night, and it was exciting and fun to be here. But when I turned eighteen, I decided it was time to focus and buckle down. The party scene just didn’t appeal to me; I didn’t feel like being in a crowd. I wanted to shut out the noise, be holed up at home. If it wasn’t for work or business, I preferred to stay in. My friends were like, “Hey, dude, are you being a hermit or what?” But it wasn’t that at all—I was getting to know myself better.

During this time, Burnie was my best friend. He always kept me company; he made sure I was never completely alone. But I have to admit . . . I kind of liked being at home at night. Being able to be by myself, conquering the aloneness, is a very important part of life and growing up. To be honest, I like the solitude; I appreciate my time with me, me, and only me. One of my friends recently tweeted, “I don’t hate you . . . I just love being alone.” And that’s how I feel. It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with my crew, it’s just I love the time to listen to my own thoughts. I used to see someone sitting in a movie all alone and assume they were lonely or friendless. Now I envy them. They’re confident and comfortable; they know it’s cool to fly solo. It took me a while to embrace that lesson, but now I got it down. Before you can be a good friend to anyone, you need to be a friend to yourself. You need to be independent and self-reliant and able to stand on your own two feet (or in Burnie’s case, his own four paws). Being alone doesn’t have to be scary or pathetic. It can be empowering, enlightening, and positive. So now you know where to probably find me on a Saturday night. . . .

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